5 Stages of Shango for Mercedes Holford

i

behind her smile

   is a rage

hand her my axe

  as we ride

adorn her neck

  with the red and white bead

 whisper the wisdom

once more in her ear

    she is my cedar

       planted in kansas

   the white egg shell

      smudged and reborn

  in every heart that knew her

 the consort

of Black Valhalla

my warrior child

forever

ii

and somewhere

  beneath that rona tragedy

    is mother and daughter

no killer found

    who stalks her memory

without knowing

   Shango

kabiesile!

lifted seat

  lifts axe to you

foul and cruel

      lava burn your eyes

   carved grooves in face

your judgment

breathless gasps

     child smiles tattooed inside your eyelids

the city

topeka

that fails all you touch

   that takes all you nurtured

and renders it dust

a balloon in the sky

      that flies raven

forevermore

til it falls like acid

like justice

 on heads unwashed

uncleaned of wicked

    not-snitched

we’ll find you

       warrior sister slayer

Shango have mercy!

iii

restored mercedes

to her rightful throne

     fixed her crown

        and makeup

   repainted her smile

she no longer dies

she is again who she was

    laughing in hallways

    dodging homework

    the jump up to goat’d beats

Black girl magic says 

     she’ll live forever

if her sister mirrors are made whole

iv

the nothingness of tomorrow

   of the Black girl in constant suspension

  the SRO who cuffs her soul

        too powerful to be detained

so 

     we lost

  for all our fighting

    and the guns always win

      our cash crop

    must flow i guess

for american greatness

on ventilators

  and a balloon is all we have to remember

forever

v

but if she has to go

    she should know

 that smile

was all i wanted

       that now we know

  just how hard the heart can rip

  just how easily life can slip

  just what we saw

     hiding behind that smile

and i’ll see you

   in the lightning and thunder

 riding with Shango forever

Mercedes